Long-distance love is hard. Can a marriage work if you’re miles and miles apart? Will you benefit from marriage counseling?
Very few people actively choose to live a long way from their romantic partner. In most cases, those relationships that start off long-distance, when they become serious and marriage is part of the equation, the couple moves in together.
However, while that is the conventional route, there are always exceptions to the rule. This includes military families, and couples where one has moved to a different city for work or family emergencies. Can these work? Can a marriage survive with hundreds, if not thousands of miles in between them? We are going to take a look at this here.
The long and short: can it work?
Absolutely yes. As with any long-distance relationship, as long as both parties involved are committed and prepared to put in the time and effort that it takes to maintain the relationship, it will work.
Benefits of technology
Years ago, long-distance relationships were much, much harder to maintain. Snail mail and telephone calls were the only way to communicate, which is a challenge if you are living in different time zones. These days, we have so many tools to hand that you can speak to each other pretty much whenever you want. You can even see each other, thanks to video calling. Messages are as instant as if you were sitting next to each other, which can make communication much easier.
Don’t ignore the red flags
When you are not living together and not dealing with all the mundane issues, such as whose turn it is to take out the trash, it can be easy to idealize the marriage and romanticize it to the point you miss the red flags. Watch out for any signs that something isn’t right, and if there are problems, look at marriage counseling services to iron them out and get you back on track as quickly as possible.
Don’t let other people influence your thoughts
Every man and his dog is going to have an opinion on your long-distance marriage, and most of them are going to be pretty negative. While listening to advice from others can be helpful if you ask for it, unsolicited advice can be pretty damaging, especially if it does not align with your own thoughts. These can creep into your head and change the dynamics of what was a healthy and happy relationship. If you do want advice, professional marriage counseling is the best course of action.
Share the mundane
Much of a marriage is based around the small details — reminding each other of appointments, talking about something that happened on the bus to work. When you don’t live together, the opportunities to share these mundane moments don’t present themselves as often, but it is important to try to get into the habit of talking about the unimportant as well as the important and feel like you are a part of each other’s everyday lives.